Saturday, February 14, 2009

Should I trust him?

In the past (when I didn't even know I was sick), I thought I was fat.

Now, as I have become healthier and gained weight, I feel I have the right to complain about the same issue.

AM I always going to fight these feelings.

Most days I can tell him to "F***" off and think rationally about things.
But, the more weight I gain the harder it is to fight off his comments.

I used to weight myself every two seconds, the scale controlled my life
(I used to carry it with me in my backpack incase ED needed to know how much I weighed).
Now,not so much...I try to base things on how my clothes fit and how I feel

But, it's hard to feel good about myself when I feel like my clothes are getting tight.
I know everyone says I'm still small, but I'm starting to hear him (ED) more lately.

He thinks he can help me lose the weight...DO I TRUST HIM?

OK, I know I shouldn't trust anything he says and run in the other direction --

I can't seem to do it and I've been trying "the right way" for awhile now.

Please help me!

1 comment:

Rochelle said...

Ooooohhhh sweetie. I feel for you. I have been really struggling with my own issue in this regard a lot this past week. It is so hard. I pray you are able to fight it and move past it, but I know just how hard that is. Even when you think you've won, you haven't. When you think you're totally past it, you aren't. But God gives us grace for each new day, and I pray that today, tomorrow, and the next day you will be able to fight your way through this, leaning on God's strength alone as we do not have the ability to fight it completely ourselves.
Praying for you!