I wanted to elaborate a little more on chapter 1…
I encourage you to seek proper counsel and treatment from a hospital if necessary.
However, I feel that I was misdiagnosed in my counsel and treatment. So let’s talk about this a bit. Divorce seems all too common these days, never-the-less very painful. For me it was the ending of almost a ten year relationship. I felt, at most times, that I had everything I’d ever want. We shared a house on one-acre, a 4-car garage, nice cars and good jobs. But, unfortunately we also had the knack to annoy each other to no end. After many years of this, I just couldn’t foresee a future together. It was an extremely hard decision coming from a family of very little divorce. But, regardless I chose to leave my marriage on a separation bases. Sadly, he was much happier apart and I was much more miserable. It was probably more to do with loneliness for me as I had never really been alone. And soon deep, deep depression set in. I remember the words he said to me when I left, “no one will ever want you and you’ll always be alone”. These words haunted me as slowly I deteriorated. I could not stop crying, I sat curled in a ball waiting to be rescued only no one came, just as he’d said. This horrible depression went on for months and months and affected every moment of every day. I lost my appetite and zest for life. Keep in mind, never once did I do anything eating disordered during this low point in my life. I sought counseling to help me through my depression, to guide me towards healing. From day one I was viewed as eating disordered by my counselor. We spoke mostly about my divorce, but she always led the talk towards my loss of weight. It didn’t take long and she had me admitted into an eating disorder program. The staff there took her diagnosis and admitted me into their treatment program without question. This is my point, if I had fairly been assessed, I’m sure they would not have admitted me into that program. Weight I had lost, yes and probably a piece of my soul as well with the ending of my marriage. But, I DID NOT belong in this particular group. I believe being placed there was the death of me and the birth of Ed. Getting the help you need and seeking proper treatment is key to recovery, but be sure you get it from the right places. Later I will describe more in depth the ones who did turn my life around and how it saved my life.
** So, please if only for me, get a second opinion when seeking treatment.