Sunday, August 17, 2008

You Go Girl!

There were some things that happened over the last week that put a damper on my spirits. It's hard to control my emotions when things feel like there spiraling out of control. Last Thursday at work we had another round of layoffs (I survived again) and also mandatory pay cuts. The first thing that chimed in my head, as all this was happening, was I'm not eating tonight. I later realized this wouldn't fly with my supportive roommate so I decided that I would self-injure to alieve the pain. I later remembered that I had a "web video/commercial" to do on Saturday and I surely didn't want any evidence of misbehaving. I hate it when the bad voices ring in my head during uncontrollable situations. Thankfully I have a supportive team of people around me as I managed the weeks worries. Not to say that it will be easy going to work tomorrow, but I made it through a couple of rough days. In the past it didn't matter who was around or what I had to do, nothing would stop me from doing harm to myself. This time around I actually think about my actions and talk myself out of them. I am becoming more and more the inner voice of wisdom and not Ed. Yeah!

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